’cause I just… *silence*
I’m looking at this piece of paper
Thinking of what words to be engraved
Mantling the pieces, left and concealed
And hell to heaven—-
It’s taking me forever to fill out the lines
Paper, paper, you tell me..
(And every thing just went off and blank.)
-Silly feeling. Just so silly.
“Nakakatampo. It is as simple, and as complicated as that.”
*****kahit bumabagsak na mata ko, gsuto ko pa ring ipublish ‘to ngayong araw*****
Today, I chose to cool down. After my shift, I ate some foodie and then sat beside Manang along the sidewalk. (Oh? yeah, I did. may masama ba..haha mga dalawang araw na kaming nagkakakwentuhan ni Manang na nagtitinda ng kendi at mga stick ng tabaco) I had to wait for the next schedule of H-bus. And yes, I’m cool. I went straight to my inaanak and gave him some love, but he bit me 😦 But it’s okay ❤ Then, I went home, here, typing some letters. Again, I am calm and cool. When I got home, I greeted my mom a good day, and I took my milk up prepared by him. (That was calm.)
I won’t lie about the glitches I have with him. It’s an ugly feeling. I don’t like it either. But it’s just the way how things go for me. We’re not in good terms. If that’s what you wanna hear.. There are times that I would hate him, there are times that I would hate him less, or maybe even more. And he knows where I’m coming from. Reasons? It’s not even called reasons..Let’s say it’s something more like…”hurt feelings” I don’t care if he blames himself, neither him does. And that’s what makes it worse..But through all of these ugly feelings towards the man I’ve looked up, until I knew we’re too different to be together..Still, he has given up more than half of his life to give me one. He has given up his time with all those perilous jobs. Today, I realized that I wasn’t calm. I let my anger and hate to forget what he had given up just to keep me breathing. And today.. I drank the milk he prepared.
It’s not beautiful but not that ugly anymore.
I am more calm and cooler today. 🙂
And hey, that’s one of the good things I like about you. The way you treat “them” like you’re still the kid in the picture you’ve shown me. Full of joy. Full of love. (I suppose you won’t be able to read this anymore, ’cause you’re too busy on your desk..I haven’t seen you for awhile nor heard things from you haha yun yung sad part talaga dito..)
Ang sabi niya special ako, pero asan na yung sinabi niyang special..wala. wala na. Siguro, hindi naman talaga ko ganun ka-espesyal. Pero matagal na yun. Gusto ko lang ibahagi sa lahat kung gaano kahalaga ang salitang pangako.
Masyadong kumplikadong salita. Hindi ito katulad ng tissue sa banyo na madalas ginagamit para punasan ang dumi ng likuran mo. Hindi ito katulad ng tsinelas na araw araw mong gagamitin at makikita mo nalang laspag na, at kailangan mo na naman bumili ng bago kasi kapag hindi, masasaktan ka lang..I mean yung paa mo. :))
Sana huwag tayong bibitaw ng pangakong maglalaho na parang bula. Dahil ang pangako ay hindi lang basta isang salita..ito ay parang mahiwagang lagusan ng pagtitiwala.
Yung ipinangako sa’yo na after mo makaipon ng 1000 points, makukuha mo yung libreng 3-in-one na kape sa tindahan ni Aling Marie!! pero ano? Wala. Hindi na raw covered yun sa pangakong points. Saklap.
It’s like a dagger. Straight to your heart. It will either catch your heart forever or once the dagger is taken off, it will cause you pain.
-haha pag nabasa mo ‘to brad, sabihin mo bitter. Hindi. 🙂 hindi na. 🙂 haha throwback ‘to. Please. haha kairitaaa
I am Jac
Stop. Must stop. Can't stop.
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