Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

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|Photo credits|K. P.|

|A good friend will celebrate her birthday tomorrow|She took this photo a month ago|

|If she will be able to read my page|I would like her to know how grateful I am to be part of her life|

|I may not be the friend who always roll for millennial stuff|

|I love old times|I tend to love things that will grow old|

|A friend whom you would remember even if you turn 80|

|I may not be as showy as others|tagging stuff|social media alerts|

|But I always try my best to attach some strings to people I care about |A string that will get old eventually|

|…|

z1

|To Zela|

I will never forget when you handed me tons of sheets and I will always be grateful to know that someone like you, would actually see my efforts towards the people I care for.. to people I love.

Helping others is not easy for me. Because knowing people is not my skill. Knowing people is my fear. And I’m thankful because you have torn that fear and you let me become part of your life.

I always tell you that eyes never lie. And I’m sorry if I can’t help myself to speak about tears.. and pain.. But I know that you could get through all of it. You’ve shown enough courage. And you deserve  pure happiness.

(Remember the day you had to leave that glass door?) I was really proud of myself that it didn’t brought me into tears. You wanna know why? Because in a short span of time, you’ve made me feel that you’ll never leave a shit out of me. That you’re ready to break walls, flaring your colored hair, just to see me because you’re my friend. And friends will never forget.

And yes it’s okay to cry. That maybe we can’t understand everything, but always remember that everything happens for a reason. That every single thing will fall in its own place. And everything will be fine.

Repay me nothing. Because I love what I do. And I would love to tease you more..to talk to you more often..to take more pictures of ourselves..to eat more..to start painting our plans.

I love hugs. Because hugs were meant for friendships.

You are vocal enough. And I could hear you from within. If you think I can’t hear you, kick the door, break some glasses, until I hear you. Until I see your eyes..then I will listen. Because I’ll never get tired to listen.

Simply because you are my friend. And no LOB could change that. Make sense? *hihi*

—–from your friend who has the same mental disorder as yours
P.S. I still love my tinapay with molds. But I love you more.

 

Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

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“Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.”

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“thank you universe for sending a rainbow in my cloud”

Sometimes you will find a friend in the middle of nowhere. Most of the times, it happens at the very least moment of your life.

Maybe because it helps you to realize that friendship doesn’t work with big things. Big gifts. Big shits. Big lies.

But just a simple and ample connection. Just that.

It doesn’t speak time. Space. Age. Place. Nor race.

I have a few. Not that much I guess.

I’m a lil’ bit obsessed of being alone.

Introvert problems.

Naahh. haha

But my crazy friends are enough to make my life so loud.

Few. But loud.

Hey, thank you din. 🙂 ❤

The Choice: Do you regret it?

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|Motion Loop|YouTube-Google|

“If not, then the pain you’ve felt was all worth it.”

I just finished watching it on that hard, black, and cold idiot box. I had to search for the part where in the lady broke the engagement with her fiance (because my lovely mother called me to get some wet clothes and get it dry. Very lovely. )

The Choice.

That was the title.

Let’s just say it wasn’t the best movie. (in my perspective of  what is best)

But it was a great movie showing and defining what CHOICE is.

Salute to that.

I personally care for the word “choice”.A lot of us get sweaty whenever caught in a situation full of bulls. And an imaginary mediator becomes more aggressive and persistent on you in making the decision as you try to think harder. (I don’t know why I used the term mediator. Maybe because it has something to do with an argument between the options you have and the consequences it entail. Just hell you know. And a nonexistent peacemaker will do. At least. To make your decisions easier. Nahhh.)

I have great experiences about it. Making choices.

It taught me how to be a human. It showed me consequences. Or as to what the movie said.. the word “opportunity”.

It will take a million breath-taking leap to decide whether you wanna let go on something, or hold on it as much as you could.

Sometimes we just let the wind do the decision making. Or we just let it be. Because we’re lost. We are lost completely.

In nowhere? tss it just needs some time. And you’ll be able to determine the right choice. After all, it’s your life at stake.

Or maybe, you randomly chose and then after what you’ve chosen..you just endure the pain. Believing that it will all go away after a century.

It will. Believe me it will. Somewhere after the long pain.

There’s these “that was fun and sad” moments.

But the question is ..

Do you regret it?

If you do, then start questioning yourself: Why did you do it?

If not, then the pain you’ve felt was all worth it. 🙂 

 

 

Kwentong Kamay

“Ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..”

Hugot. Oo na sige na. Pero may tama naman sa sinabi ko..haha (ipush ko pa opinion ko)

Sino bang gustong bitawan? Sino bang gustong iwanan? Sino bang gustong masaktan? Kung meron man, siya yung totoong bato, hindi ako. Haha syempre wala! Walang may gustong umiyak habang nasa jeep. Umiyak sa library o opisina ng patago. Umiyak sa banyo bago maligo. Umiyak sa gabi na parang wala ng sisikat na araw kinabukasan. Wala talaga. Wala.

Pero kailan ba tayo nasasaktan? Kapag nasugatan? Kapag nawalan? Kapag iniwanan?

Maraming tanong. Maraming lumalarong tanong sa isipan. Pero sana huwag mong kalimutan, na habang hinahanap mo ang mga sagot sa tanong mo, pilit niya ring sinasagutan ang isang malaking palaisipan, na parang walang katapusan.

Sabi nga, ang kamay na hinampas mo sa pader, kahit gaano katigas ‘to, parehas lang din kayong naramdaman, kahit mukhang wala siyang pakialam.

Siguro, sa lahat din naman ng bagay dalawang panig ang sangkot. Hindi lang isa, dalawa. Minsan nga tatlo o higit pa. Hindi lang ikaw, pati rin naman siya.

Parehas may rason at dahilan. Parehas may pinanghuhugutan. Parehas may pinanggagalingan. Parang itim at puti. Yin at Yan. (tama ba) Kutsara at tinidor. Balde at tabo. Kanin at ulam. Papel at pluma. Po at Opo.

Kaya sa dalawang kamay na minsang mahigpit na nakahawak sa isa’t isa, dumarating sa puntong meron at merong mapapagod. Napapagod at bumibitaw. Bumitaw siya, eh ikaw, hinawakan mo pa rin ba? O sadyang ikaw din bumitaw na.

Dahil ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..

Pero ganun talaga. Masakit. Kaya minsan mapapamura ka nalang sa sakit. Hanggang sa humugot ka nalang kahit ang bitter ng pakinggan. Pero ang mahalaga dun, ginawa mo ang lahat para kumapit. Kumapit ka parin na para kang nakikisabit sa jeep, kahit nakakapagod na, kahit mukha ka ng tanga sa mata ng iba. Para sa oras na dumating sa puntong bababa ka na, handa ka ng isigaw:

“Manong drayber, Para!”

Hindi dahil sa pagod ka na. Kundi dahil alam mo sa sarili mong:

“Eto na ‘to, Tama na. P*%@#!&@!”

Oh, ako na naman yung bitter. Haha hindi ba pwedeng hugot para sa ibang taong nasaktan? 😛

Osya, pagaling na kayo! Kaya niyo yan. 🙂

Kwentong Pag-ibig: Love is blind, deaf, mute, numb, colorful, great… Lahat na, P*%@&?!@!!!

“Dahil ang Pag-ibig ay masasabi kong isang napakagandang pagkukulang na masarap kulayan at nakatadhanang punan.”

February na naman! Hello sa mga may jowa, kunware may jowa, nangangarap magkajowa, at syempre sa mga nawalan ng jowa, mawawalan ng jowa at higit sa lahat.. Yung walang jowa! 🙂

(the term** haha!)

¤¤LOVE IS BLIND¤¤

Madalas kong marinig, makita ang mga katagang ito. Bulag nga ba ang Pag-ibig? Yung tipong nagkaroon na ng union ang pamilya, mga kamag-anak at mga kaibigan mo, kulang na lang isali ng nanay mo si Kapitan Tiyago sa samahan nila para lang ipamukha sayo na hindi siya karapatdapat para sayo. Kasi daw oso sya. (Bakit, cute naman yung oso ah?) Pero hindi kasi yun. Kahit anong sabihin nila, alam kong ang bawat isa ay may kanya kanyang sagot sa katanungang “BAKIT SIYA?”. At walang taong pwedeng magdikta kung sino ang bibigyan mo ng matamis na Oo or kung sinong liligawan/mamahalin mo.

¤¤LOVE IS DEAF¤¤

Bingi raw ang Pag-ibig. Kasi kahit anong sigaw mo, minsan hindi ka marinig. Hindi ka na niya naririnig..

“Punta ko ng Wonderland.”

“Ingat ka.”

“Ano?! The line is breaking. I’m with girls. Ano ulit?!”

“T*ngina! Mahal kita!”

“Mahal din kita.”

“Ano?! I’m with someone. Low batt na ko. Bye! ”

¤¤LOVE IS MUTE.¤¤

Yung tipong gusto mong ipagsigawang importante ‘tong tao sayo. Taong may espesyal na space. Pero nautot ka nalang sa katatago ng feelings mo. Kasi nga, Love is Mute. So kapag nagsama si Love is Deaf at Love is Mute.. Wala na. Wala ng pag-asa. (Ooops! Meron pa! Huwag kang bitter. Haha Habang nabubuhay, may pag-asa. 🙂 )

¤¤LOVE IS NUMB.¤¤

Ayan naaa. Manhid ka. MANHID KA!!! Hahahaha blog ko ‘to. :p

Sa lahat ng may minamahal, na kulang nalang gumulong ka ng isang daang beses sa harapan niya, kulang nalang ibigay mo yung Jupiter sa kanya, kulang na lang ibigay mo na yung ngipin mo para punan ang ngiti niya, kulang nalang.. kulang. T*ngina! Parang kulang pa rin. Hindi ka pa rin niya maramdaman. Ang tanong, MAHAL KA BA NIYA?

Tandaan. Sabi nga nila..

I LOVE YOU is not a question. It’s a statement. And it’s not meant to be answered.

Maybe it’s just meant to be felt.

BLIND. DEAF. MUTE. NUMB.

Maglilipana na naman ang kakornihan ng buong sanlibutan sa darating na Valentine’s Day. Pero kahit anong gawin mo, kahit anong pigil mo.. Ang araw na ito ay dadaan sa kalendaryo para ipaalala ang nakasanayang kahulugan ng araw na ito, Araw ng mga Puso. Puso na sumisimbolo sa Pag-ibig.

Isang salitang nagbibigay kulay sa buhay ng mga tao. Isang bagay na nagsisilbing paalala sa atin na tayo ay may pagkukulang. Na tayo ay may nakalaang espasyo para masabi nating, may mga bagay na hindi natin nakikita.. Sigaw na hindi naririnig.. Mga salitang hindi masabi.. At mga bagay na hindi natin maramdaman.

Pero hindi ibig sabihin nito na tayo ay punong puno ng pagkukulang. Isa lamang itong patunay na ang Pag-ibig ang pinakamagandang bagay sa mundo na pinagsasaluhan ng dalawang taong pawang may kapansanan ngunit hinding hindi ito magiging isang hadlang..

Dahil ang Pag-ibig ay masasabi kong isang napakagandang pagkukulang na masarap kulayan at nakatadhanang punan.”

-HAPPY VALENTIMES DAY! Haha Ay Valentine’s pala. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ Ang araw na 'to ay para sa lahat. Para sa lahat ng taong may puso at nagmamahal. ❤

Corny. Haha

(SHOUT OUT nga pala sa kaibigan kong magbibirthday ngayong February 14! Huwag ka nang magtampo sa akin. Huhu Love pa rin kita kahit binubully mo ko. Kasi, may kapansanan ako. At isa ka sa pumupuno nun. 🙂 Hello sa inaanak kong pogi!)

¤¤¤Syeettt! Paano nga ba ulit magmahal? 😀 😛 🙂 ❤ …¤¤¤

A Simple Truth About Happiness: When everything feels right

Before I take my deprived rights on sleeping, I would like to kiss my tears away by spending some minutes on my page while I’m trying to convince you (whoever’s reading) that my post has something to do with your life.. and your feelings.. And your thoughts. Haha nyanya

I am pondering about how people find happiness in different ways. Some find it in shoes stored in cabinets with skeletons. Some find it in food like “Arrghh food is forever and I want to marry as many food as I want because I love to eat and it makes me fat”. Or people find it in books and coffee and cookies and music and beaches and cars and places..

Want some more?

Cosmetics and dogs and cats and alcohol and smoke and dresses and photographs and curtains and papers and stickers and spoons and movies..

Or maybe we could find happiness in family and friendship and work and love and tranquility and peace and time and trust and hope and faith..

And I could add some more and finish this post in year 3000 or even more.

Maybe because we always try to find happiness in everything.

But today somebody reminded me that happiness will never be a “find me” puzzle. Because happiness (I would say) happens not completely because it’s the right time nor person nor place nor situation.

But simply because IT FEELS RIGHT. And it takes tons of courage and guts to jump into that it-feels-right feeling.

(And when something goes wrong that’s the time we forget what happiness is.)

-TOO MUCH FOR TODAY. A very loooong start of the week. My happiness is sleep. 🙂 ❤