The Choice: Do you regret it?

rose

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“If not, then the pain you’ve felt was all worth it.”

I just finished watching it on that hard, black, and cold idiot box. I had to search for the part where in the lady broke the engagement with her fiance (because my lovely mother called me to get some wet clothes and get it dry. Very lovely. )

The Choice.

That was the title.

Let’s just say it wasn’t the best movie. (in my perspective of  what is best)

But it was a great movie showing and defining what CHOICE is.

Salute to that.

I personally care for the word “choice”.A lot of us get sweaty whenever caught in a situation full of bulls. And an imaginary mediator becomes more aggressive and persistent on you in making the decision as you try to think harder. (I don’t know why I used the term mediator. Maybe because it has something to do with an argument between the options you have and the consequences it entail. Just hell you know. And a nonexistent peacemaker will do. At least. To make your decisions easier. Nahhh.)

I have great experiences about it. Making choices.

It taught me how to be a human. It showed me consequences. Or as to what the movie said.. the word “opportunity”.

It will take a million breath-taking leap to decide whether you wanna let go on something, or hold on it as much as you could.

Sometimes we just let the wind do the decision making. Or we just let it be. Because we’re lost. We are lost completely.

In nowhere? tss it just needs some time. And you’ll be able to determine the right choice. After all, it’s your life at stake.

Or maybe, you randomly chose and then after what you’ve chosen..you just endure the pain. Believing that it will all go away after a century.

It will. Believe me it will. Somewhere after the long pain.

There’s these “that was fun and sad” moments.

But the question is ..

Do you regret it?

If you do, then start questioning yourself: Why did you do it?

If not, then the pain you’ve felt was all worth it. 🙂 

 

 

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2017: Chasing Happiness

“Because it’s not just everybody deserves to be happy, but everyone has a chance to grab happiness and chose to have it.”

2016.

A year full of chances and opportunities. It brought me lessons I would bring through the succeeding years. It taught me a lot of things. Things that are more important than what our naked eyes could see. It even took me to places with little essence of paradise. And most importantly, it has given me a chance to make things right and straighten crooked lines from 2015.

I learned that your best friend could forget your birthday, but it doesn’t matter anymore after a 13 second sad momentum because you love her more than what odds could bring. I learned that not all would stay the same. It’s not that you aren’t aware of the phenomenal changes on earth, but you always chose to believe it has to be like this because it was fucking like this before. But no, you don’t need changes-acceptance. You had that. What you need is a little sprinkle of reality that “change” is a status quo. However, it only works through your mind, but not to your heart. Because what you feel would fade, but nah-uh..it wouldn’t change. (Like, you loved Chuckie drink, it fades but you’ll never forget the feeling every time you take a chocolatey sip.) 2016 brought me a piece of opportunity to “fix myself” though. You could start with my job, new acquaintances, friendship, and you could include love. Oh, that freaking feeling.

Nevertheless, 2016 taught me that love is and will never be adjacent to fate. You feel it, but it was never crafted across your lead. You have to explore it, you have to fight for it, you have to chose it and most of all you have to let him/her know that you’re willing to do what you have just read. *laughs* sort of like that. Am I going to do it? I don’t know yet. 2017 knows.

Friendship. Chances. Fate. Love. What else did I learn?

Oh, yah. One more thing.

I learned that not wearing a watch makes you more human. Haha believe me or not you have to believe me. Time flies baby. And you’ll never know what you’re missing within 3 seconds every time you look at your watch, every time you feel the pressure of time. Breathe. Think. And then breathe again.

Time is a man-made grid. Not bad to forget it some time.

Lastly, I want to take this as an opportunity to tell you (whoever’s reading) that life could be miserable, sad and arrogant most of the time.. but have the right to chose happiness. Because it’s not just everybody deserves to be happy, but everyone has a chance to grab and chose to have it.

Say thank you to last year, and say hi to 2017. A year full of chances. Full of choices. *** Well, it’s always been, pal! 🙂 ***

Papers? Please.

“Maybe we’ll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic.
I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me.
But right now, I am a chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.”

 

-I was just browsing and about to start with a term paper forwarded by a comrade and a confidant. And I found this from someone’s page.

(Why is everyone having a hard time lately. What’s with Holy week?)

 …

Papers? Please.

The truth is…

Funny isn’t it? That life has a very common pattern of happiness-sadness routine. How long does it take to lose pleasure or bliss? It takes just a second my dear.  At one snap, every single reason you have to be in full joy could vanish right away. For what reason? Just that. And like that. Ironically you can’t do something. You’re out of control. It just happens.

But why do good things leave us the way nobody would want to be left alone in nowhere? Or why would people we love and care about would even try to leave us behind? At my work, it’s a protocol to ask: What’s holding you back? But in real life, we can’t ask the same question. Because doing so is comprehending us making another mistake from throwing out that one. We feel so naïve on that part where we believed on what our hearts desire for. It’s just too painful… No, it isn’t painful at all. It’s more likely and better to be called raw feelings I guess?

(The truth is, I feel hurt. Because you asked me to stay, and I said yes, I will. But you’ve made me feel I stayed for no one.)

*hands up*

No title, just me and that stupid part (and my happy thoughts :) )

collage

“Because unanswered questions are answered by prayers..”

It’s been years, two? three? or even more than that. This melancholic photos of rolled mini letters taken few years ago..(na parang mga binilot na smoke, yes, mga sulat po yan. Mga sulat na di na nakarating sa dapat paroonan.) And people in cliche thoughts, there are a lot of things that are better left unsaid. But for years I’ve been yearning for answers however I know there’s none. Or probably, I was just too naive and too hopeless to make myself believe that there would be responses to those questions.

Questions. And the “better left unsaid”.

Was it too much to ask for you to answer simple questions?

I didn’t get that. And I don’t get it still. The thought of leaving people hanging on unanswered questions is just so stupid. Wow, I can’t believe I can say that now. The “stupid” part. haha Yes it is. And from that day, I realized I’d be living this life seeking for answers..at nahanap ko na ang sagot sa mga tanong ko. Ang iba nahanap ko sa basurahan, ang iba sa putikan, ang iba sa itaas ng kisame. (ay wala palang kisame ang bahay namin.)

From then on, I promised to myself that I would try my best to answer every f@#$%&* single question that is thrown to me. No. I won’t be sorry for that. The f@#$%&* part. (mga three times kung nirevise kung bubuuin ko ba ang salitang yan o lalagyan ko nalang ng konting art haha.) I can’t say it is a bold thing to do. But answering questions somehow lightens the world’s deepest sorrows. Naniniwala ako dun. At patuloy kong paniniwalaan yun.

Hindi isang laro ang pagtatanong..hindi isang laro ang kagustuhang malaman ang isang bagay na nagdadala ng kalituhan sa isipan ng isang tao. Sa bawat tanong na walang kasagutan ay nagbibigay daan sa sinasabi nating kalungkutan.

The chaos brought by unanswered questions ratifies endless grief and poor life navigation. Sino ka, para sirain ang direksyon ng buhay ng tao dahil lang sa kagustuhan mong iwanan ng nakatiwangwang ang tanong niya? Sino ka para sabihing hindi na kailangan pang malaman ng tao ang sagot? Sino ka para makapanakit ng tao?

Nevertheless..people learn. People adapt. People change. And people get better. People move on. Hindi sila para mabuhay sa iniwan mong tanong. Sa tanong na kayang hilumin ang sugat ng kahapon. Sa tanong na kayang sagutin ng panahon at ng pagkakataon.

—-

“Because unanswered questions are answered by prayers..”

It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? 🙂

Mama: Oo, maganda ang araw ngayon, kaya maglinis ka!

HAHAHAHAHA spoiler, kakahiya naman sa nanay ko. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤