“Ang Pag-ibig raw ay ang pagbibigay ng karapatan at kalayaan na saktan ka, pero tiwala kang hinding hindi niya sa’yo magagawa.”

 

 

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|MindCore|Source

 

 

Isa pa ring palaisipan sa isip kong magulo

Kung paano at bakit ako sumagot ng Oo

Kung paano at bakit hinayaang hawakan ang mga kamay ko

Isang palaisipang hahayaang sagutin ng panahon

Mga tanong at sagot na hinatid ng mga pagkakataon

Ikaw na taludtod ng aking mga tula

Hindi matatawaran ang paghintay ng labis at pagtugon sa mga tala

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Ang paghawak sa kamay dahil takot sa pagtawid ang aking mga paa

Na hanggang ngayon, ikaw pa rin ang gustong makasama

Sa bawat pagbagtas ng mga puting linya, kahit ito’y kumupas pa

At sa pagsindi ng pulang ilaw, ay hudyat ng mahigpit na hawak sa kamay na lubos na  nagtitiwala

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Ang malaking bilog na tila puno ng hagdan

Na kapag umikot, unti unti kang ilalapit sa kalangitan

Ako’y isang batang natupad ang munting hiling

Pero sa isipan ko’y, iyon ay gumitling

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Nang kamay ko’y hawakan, sa isang tahimik na hardin

At ang mga mata mong nagtatanong sa dilim

Kung ano, paano at saan patutungo

At ngiti lamang ang siyang naisagot

Katumbas ng isang Oo at ang patuloy na paghawak sa kamay

Patawid sa mga linyang samo’t sari ang taglay

 

Kaya huwag magtanong, mag-isip at mabigla

Kung bakit binabagtas ng mag-isa ang kahabaan ng Evangelista

Yun ay para simpleng ipaalala sa’yo

Ang ngiting isinagot na ang ibig sabihin ay Mahal Kita.

 

 

P.S.

Ang T-shirt mo po. Huwag kalimutan.

 

|9.8 m/s2|Vincent|

|Madami|

|Sobra|

 

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Minsan mahuhuli mo na lang yung sarili mo na nakangiti, hindi dahil sa baliw ka, pero may mga bagay na kapag di na kaya ng diksyunaryo bigyan ng katumbas na salita, ngiti lang ang pwedeng magpaliwanag at magbigay ng kahulugan.

In short, kalandian. Haha 

 

|…|

|9.8m/s2|Vincent|

|Madami.|

|Sobra.|

Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

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|Photo credits|K. P.|

|A good friend will celebrate her birthday tomorrow|She took this photo a month ago|

|If she will be able to read my page|I would like her to know how grateful I am to be part of her life|

|I may not be the friend who always roll for millennial stuff|

|I love old times|I tend to love things that will grow old|

|A friend whom you would remember even if you turn 80|

|I may not be as showy as others|tagging stuff|social media alerts|

|But I always try my best to attach some strings to people I care about |A string that will get old eventually|

|…|

z1

|To Zela|

I will never forget when you handed me tons of sheets and I will always be grateful to know that someone like you, would actually see my efforts towards the people I care for.. to people I love.

Helping others is not easy for me. Because knowing people is not my skill. Knowing people is my fear. And I’m thankful because you have torn that fear and you let me become part of your life.

I always tell you that eyes never lie. And I’m sorry if I can’t help myself to speak about tears.. and pain.. But I know that you could get through all of it. You’ve shown enough courage. And you deserve  pure happiness.

(Remember the day you had to leave that glass door?) I was really proud of myself that it didn’t brought me into tears. You wanna know why? Because in a short span of time, you’ve made me feel that you’ll never leave a shit out of me. That you’re ready to break walls, flaring your colored hair, just to see me because you’re my friend. And friends will never forget.

And yes it’s okay to cry. That maybe we can’t understand everything, but always remember that everything happens for a reason. That every single thing will fall in its own place. And everything will be fine.

Repay me nothing. Because I love what I do. And I would love to tease you more..to talk to you more often..to take more pictures of ourselves..to eat more..to start painting our plans.

I love hugs. Because hugs were meant for friendships.

You are vocal enough. And I could hear you from within. If you think I can’t hear you, kick the door, break some glasses, until I hear you. Until I see your eyes..then I will listen. Because I’ll never get tired to listen.

Simply because you are my friend. And no LOB could change that. Make sense? *hihi*

—–from your friend who has the same mental disorder as yours
P.S. I still love my tinapay with molds. But I love you more.

 

Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

Kailan?

Kailan titila ang pagbuhos ng ulan
Na akala mo’y wala ng mapaglagyan

Kailan mahahawi ang kalangitan
Para dumungaw ang araw, at ngiti’y muling masilayan

Kailan guguhit ang pitong tulay ng kalangitan
Na siyang kukulay sa magulong kaisipan

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan muling guguhit
Ang mga ngiting hindi umiimik

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan titila ang malakas na pagbuhos
Ang pusong nadurog na ng lubos

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan masasagot ang mga katanungan
Mga bagay na pilit pinahahalagahan
Unti unti nang nabubura ng tubig ulan

Tama na, pagod na pagod na
Wala ka bang balak magpahinga?

Kailan, kailan
Kailan titila ang napakalakas na ulan
Para muling umukit ng bahaghari na animo’y walang katapusan

(Yung body clock ko po ay wala na sa matinong kalagayan..parang yung isip kong lumilipad patungo sa nakaraan at pilit gumigising para sa kasalukuyan.. At para paghandaan ang kinabukusan.)

Kwentong Kamay

“Ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..”

Hugot. Oo na sige na. Pero may tama naman sa sinabi ko..haha (ipush ko pa opinion ko)

Sino bang gustong bitawan? Sino bang gustong iwanan? Sino bang gustong masaktan? Kung meron man, siya yung totoong bato, hindi ako. Haha syempre wala! Walang may gustong umiyak habang nasa jeep. Umiyak sa library o opisina ng patago. Umiyak sa banyo bago maligo. Umiyak sa gabi na parang wala ng sisikat na araw kinabukasan. Wala talaga. Wala.

Pero kailan ba tayo nasasaktan? Kapag nasugatan? Kapag nawalan? Kapag iniwanan?

Maraming tanong. Maraming lumalarong tanong sa isipan. Pero sana huwag mong kalimutan, na habang hinahanap mo ang mga sagot sa tanong mo, pilit niya ring sinasagutan ang isang malaking palaisipan, na parang walang katapusan.

Sabi nga, ang kamay na hinampas mo sa pader, kahit gaano katigas ‘to, parehas lang din kayong naramdaman, kahit mukhang wala siyang pakialam.

Siguro, sa lahat din naman ng bagay dalawang panig ang sangkot. Hindi lang isa, dalawa. Minsan nga tatlo o higit pa. Hindi lang ikaw, pati rin naman siya.

Parehas may rason at dahilan. Parehas may pinanghuhugutan. Parehas may pinanggagalingan. Parang itim at puti. Yin at Yan. (tama ba) Kutsara at tinidor. Balde at tabo. Kanin at ulam. Papel at pluma. Po at Opo.

Kaya sa dalawang kamay na minsang mahigpit na nakahawak sa isa’t isa, dumarating sa puntong meron at merong mapapagod. Napapagod at bumibitaw. Bumitaw siya, eh ikaw, hinawakan mo pa rin ba? O sadyang ikaw din bumitaw na.

Dahil ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..

Pero ganun talaga. Masakit. Kaya minsan mapapamura ka nalang sa sakit. Hanggang sa humugot ka nalang kahit ang bitter ng pakinggan. Pero ang mahalaga dun, ginawa mo ang lahat para kumapit. Kumapit ka parin na para kang nakikisabit sa jeep, kahit nakakapagod na, kahit mukha ka ng tanga sa mata ng iba. Para sa oras na dumating sa puntong bababa ka na, handa ka ng isigaw:

“Manong drayber, Para!”

Hindi dahil sa pagod ka na. Kundi dahil alam mo sa sarili mong:

“Eto na ‘to, Tama na. P*%@#!&@!”

Oh, ako na naman yung bitter. Haha hindi ba pwedeng hugot para sa ibang taong nasaktan? 😛

Osya, pagaling na kayo! Kaya niyo yan. 🙂

The verge of being a Wanderlust in 13 to 50 different ways.

“As you wander and you are lost, you can’t help but to see a stranger in 13 to 50 different ways.”

It became a crucial thought to me about being lost as I travelled to my aunt’s house yesterday. (I arrived safe, if that’s your question.)

I realized a lot of things more than how I have been thinking about time.

First, as you wander and you are lost, you can’t help but to see a stranger in 13 to 50 different ways. You have to learn how to see through them. Learn how to trust even if you’re at the verge of nowhere.

Second, time never gets old. People do. So if you want to wander, it’s now or never.

This is a hard punch on my face. I have lived a life full of grid. And I’ve always thought it was okay. I suffered hesitations for 15 years. I realized maybe it’s about time to put a hedgehog on top of my head and dance like a baboon.

Third, I learned deeper than mantle of the earth, that family and friends are the best creations you could have. Savor it. Live with it. Laugh with it. Love it.

I have fought Aneurysm for a decade and a half now. It’s never been easy since I gained it young, I had to force myself to think like an adult. To know this and that. And if I tell you right now everything I have realized yesterday, you could tell how crazy my brain cells work. Because it’s just crazy.

But one thing I would like to have now for sure, I don’t give a damn how long I could conquer the challenge of Vascular Aneurysm. But I would like to pray deeply, that He would give me enough time to say thank you to every single person who prolonged my existence. To people who always give me reasons to go on. To people who don’t just make me feel gay, but define what really happiness is. To people whom I could trust when right paths are nowhere to be found. To people who love me in 13 to 50 different ways. ❤ ❤ ❤

Thank you! 🙂