I love you, and I ming it.

And the flaws we have are worth fighting for.. Worth keeping for.

To my Moon and Stars,

It’s been a while.

There’s a lot of things I would have written if I had the chance of time. But eggs and bacons, keyboards and pens, then plates and sauce, bed and sheets..

It’s been a restless year for both us.

But the aftermath is when I have realized a lot of strings.

That there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. (Well, I guess that’s a cliche.)

To think that I could freely peel off my flaws before your eyes, is something that I am proud of.

Like my little tantrums along the red bank, my fingers digging—no—excavating each letter on the keyboard, *haha*, and the most recent which was the notebook prank.. (And I am not proud of these shenanigans.)

But I am proud to say that I have someone who knows me and willing to see my flaws. Not to smudge it on my face but would tell me how wrong it was.

But I want to make it up. To cool down my temper.

And I want you to know that you’re my life size stress ball. Literally round and soft. 🥰😍🐻

Our arguments and disagreements were something I hated for a day or two. Sometimes a week or so. But I started to keep each fragment like a treasure. So when I look back when we get old, I have something in my pocket to laugh at. 🤗😂 You and your eyebrows crossing.

To my Moon and Stars

This is a simple reminder that I love you. And the flaws we have are worth fighting for.. Worth keeping for.

I love you.

Every day.

9.8m/s2

Vincent|France

🐻🐼🌻

No title, Just You and I

 

 

“Not that big. But it hurts a lot. Not that much. But a lot.

But I’m so grateful that I have you.”

 

 

poi2

 

08|13|2018

Everything was cluttered and my 24/7 was a robotic routine. Then I woke up one morning having a conversation with someone whom I would love for the next days of my crazy life.

I would be honest. I am enjoying what we have. It’s not that perfect, not every inch of it is a happy conversation; we’re starting to have arguments, and I don’t like what I feel, what I have felt, and to think of what I would feel.. But I like the idea of having arguments and silly conversations. It feels like growth.

Well in fact, yesterday, was one of those days.

I started to overthink.

|…|

 

Thinking that I might be a little bit too much (that I don’t talk too much). That if I do, I might over say it, and hurt both of us.

 We have a lot of differences. I agree.

 

The Introvert meets The Extrovert.

 

poi3

 

I know and I was expecting little clashes and thunderstorms with our relationship because of those differences. I was surprised tho. That you were more aggressive on asking questions  how we could work things out. And I appreciate that. It’s like telling me you love me more than how I behave towards silly stuff.

Silly stuff. When I start to create a trivial argument about you and your friends. Haha classic. I ran it like it’s a joke but yeah, I’m human. I get jealous too. I know you love and care for your friends, but you just have to love and care for me more. Or when those multi-colored hair characters start to dance on your screen and you seem to forget that I exist. Silly, but true. And I just thought, maybe it was just me.

But it hurts a lot when you seem not to listen and hear me talk about how rough my day was.. that I left my spoon and fork at home, that I’m having a hard time dealing with my fats, that I’m starting toasdfghjkl……………

Not that big. But it hurts a lot.

Not that much. But a lot.   

And I’m sorry for being childish. I feel like a 26-year old kid. (haha)

Regardless of my silly thoughts, I am so grateful that I have you. 

 

poi4

 

|…|

 

It’s almost a year since we started to count stars at night. Listen to raindrops and growling thunderstorms. We earned another year on our age. We celebrated the day of the fat guy in red who flies at night, and here we are. Another months to spend.

I hope by this time, I am more carefree. Carefree enough to tell you how I really feel.

So I could tell you what I like and what I don’t. So I could tell you how I feel. And how important you are to me. That sometimes, a simple hug could actually make me feel better. That a simple pat on my head could take away the bad mood I have on a certain day. That you are my fluffy bear and nothing would ever change that.

 

poi1

That you are my cookies, my coffee and my tea..

 

That I love you more than you know.

 

And I will love you, and wouldn’t stop until the moon say so.

🙂

It’s a  rainy 7:47 in the morning of August 13, 2018.

Yeah, this was supposed to be future dated (next year). But I realized that if you want to say something, you have to do it now because tomorrow is never a promise. But we are all hopeful that it will be kept. 

 

And I’m looking forward for another year.. and another year, and another year after that…until the sun becomes a white dwarf star. ❤ 

P.S.

-Dapat hindi na kasali ‘tong picture na ‘to. Haha Pero gustong gusto ko talaga isali. Haha 😛  ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂 peace! 

poi5

 

Edited|With a HeART|

I love you. 

Madami.

Sobra. 🙂

 

 

|9.8m/s2|

Kwentong UV Express

Naalala ko ang malagim na gabi kung saan sinalo ako ng mga chicharon ni Camille (Mercy’s Chicharoom, machalapp haha) nang mahulog ako pababa ng UV. Pero muli kong napatunayan na may mabubuting nilalang pa sa mundong ibabaw bukod sa mga nagmamahal sa atin. Thanks man! (Wala ng masyadong stress sa isang gabing bayani baka may magtampo haha)

Eh yun na nga. Buhay naman ako. Wala na ang mga galos at sugat. Wala na rin ang mga pasa.

Minsan may mga pangyayari sa buhay na hindi natin inaasahan.

 

Madadapa. Mahuhulog.

Nang hindi mo namamalayan.

Masakit. Madiin.

Sa una makikita mo lang ang sugat.

Pero habang tumatagal nararamdaman mo na unti unting binabalot ng sakit ang mga sugat. Na kahit anong gamot ang ilagay mo, para kang dinudurog.

Pero sabi nila, pinapagaling ng panahon ang lahat.

 

At kasabay ng paggaling ng mga sugat mo, unti unti kang natututo. Na hindi lang naman sakit at peklat ang dala ng mga galos.

Minsan sa likod ng mga sugat, ay ang mga taong patuloy na nagpapangiti ng ating mga labi.

 

Yung pamilya mo.

Kaibigan.

Minsan stranger.

Minsan mataba. 🙂 ❤ 😛

 

-ayy landeee :*

9.8 m/s2|V

C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2

 

sunnflowers

 

|Image Source: Google|

 

“C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2”

 

Sa taludtod ng aking mga tula

Na walang sawang umiintindi ng aking mga salita

Na minsan kahit hindi na maintindihan

Na minsan parang naglalakad sa kawalan

Taludtod ko, ikaw ay patuloy na yayakapin

At hindi magsasawang sabihin

Na ika’y mahal at di mapapagod mahalin

Dahil sa malungkot na kalangitan, ikaw ang mga bituin

Sa taludtod ng aking mga tula

Ikaw ang “A” hanggang “Ya” sa aking Abakada

Ikaw na mga letra na naglalaro sa aking isipan

Parang isang talata na nanggagaling sa kalawakan

Madalas ikaw ay isang pangungusap

Minsan naman ay isang tanong, isang palaisipan

Na nagiging numero..

Parang mga petsa sa bawat linggo

Parang mga buwan na nagdadaan sa kalendaryo

Sa taludtod ng aking mga tula

Bago ko ipikit ang aking mga mata

Nais sabihing mahal kita

Ipunin natin ang mga Enero hanggang pagtanda. 🙂

-Ayy malandiii haha 😛

Tulog naaaaaaaaaaaaa ❤

 

“Ang Pag-ibig raw ay ang pagbibigay ng karapatan at kalayaan na saktan ka, pero tiwala kang hinding hindi niya sa’yo magagawa.”

 

 

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|MindCore|Source

 

 

Isa pa ring palaisipan sa isip kong magulo

Kung paano at bakit ako sumagot ng Oo

Kung paano at bakit hinayaang hawakan ang mga kamay ko

Isang palaisipang hahayaang sagutin ng panahon

Mga tanong at sagot na hinatid ng mga pagkakataon

Ikaw na taludtod ng aking mga tula

Hindi matatawaran ang paghintay ng labis at pagtugon sa mga tala

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Ang paghawak sa kamay dahil takot sa pagtawid ang aking mga paa

Na hanggang ngayon, ikaw pa rin ang gustong makasama

Sa bawat pagbagtas ng mga puting linya, kahit ito’y kumupas pa

At sa pagsindi ng pulang ilaw, ay hudyat ng mahigpit na hawak sa kamay na lubos na  nagtitiwala

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Ang malaking bilog na tila puno ng hagdan

Na kapag umikot, unti unti kang ilalapit sa kalangitan

Ako’y isang batang natupad ang munting hiling

Pero sa isipan ko’y, iyon ay gumitling

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Nang kamay ko’y hawakan, sa isang tahimik na hardin

At ang mga mata mong nagtatanong sa dilim

Kung ano, paano at saan patutungo

At ngiti lamang ang siyang naisagot

Katumbas ng isang Oo at ang patuloy na paghawak sa kamay

Patawid sa mga linyang samo’t sari ang taglay

 

Kaya huwag magtanong, mag-isip at mabigla

Kung bakit binabagtas ng mag-isa ang kahabaan ng Evangelista

Yun ay para simpleng ipaalala sa’yo

Ang ngiting isinagot na ang ibig sabihin ay Mahal Kita.

 

 

P.S.

Ang T-shirt mo po. Huwag kalimutan.

 

|9.8 m/s2|Vincent|

|Madami|

|Sobra|

 

Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

received_1526600900693649~2

|Photo credits|K. P.|

|A good friend will celebrate her birthday tomorrow|She took this photo a month ago|

|If she will be able to read my page|I would like her to know how grateful I am to be part of her life|

|I may not be the friend who always roll for millennial stuff|

|I love old times|I tend to love things that will grow old|

|A friend whom you would remember even if you turn 80|

|I may not be as showy as others|tagging stuff|social media alerts|

|But I always try my best to attach some strings to people I care about |A string that will get old eventually|

|…|

z1

|To Zela|

I will never forget when you handed me tons of sheets and I will always be grateful to know that someone like you, would actually see my efforts towards the people I care for.. to people I love.

Helping others is not easy for me. Because knowing people is not my skill. Knowing people is my fear. And I’m thankful because you have torn that fear and you let me become part of your life.

I always tell you that eyes never lie. And I’m sorry if I can’t help myself to speak about tears.. and pain.. But I know that you could get through all of it. You’ve shown enough courage. And you deserve  pure happiness.

(Remember the day you had to leave that glass door?) I was really proud of myself that it didn’t brought me into tears. You wanna know why? Because in a short span of time, you’ve made me feel that you’ll never leave a shit out of me. That you’re ready to break walls, flaring your colored hair, just to see me because you’re my friend. And friends will never forget.

And yes it’s okay to cry. That maybe we can’t understand everything, but always remember that everything happens for a reason. That every single thing will fall in its own place. And everything will be fine.

Repay me nothing. Because I love what I do. And I would love to tease you more..to talk to you more often..to take more pictures of ourselves..to eat more..to start painting our plans.

I love hugs. Because hugs were meant for friendships.

You are vocal enough. And I could hear you from within. If you think I can’t hear you, kick the door, break some glasses, until I hear you. Until I see your eyes..then I will listen. Because I’ll never get tired to listen.

Simply because you are my friend. And no LOB could change that. Make sense? *hihi*

—–from your friend who has the same mental disorder as yours
P.S. I still love my tinapay with molds. But I love you more.

 

Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

Kailan?

Kailan titila ang pagbuhos ng ulan
Na akala mo’y wala ng mapaglagyan

Kailan mahahawi ang kalangitan
Para dumungaw ang araw, at ngiti’y muling masilayan

Kailan guguhit ang pitong tulay ng kalangitan
Na siyang kukulay sa magulong kaisipan

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan muling guguhit
Ang mga ngiting hindi umiimik

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan titila ang malakas na pagbuhos
Ang pusong nadurog na ng lubos

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan masasagot ang mga katanungan
Mga bagay na pilit pinahahalagahan
Unti unti nang nabubura ng tubig ulan

Tama na, pagod na pagod na
Wala ka bang balak magpahinga?

Kailan, kailan
Kailan titila ang napakalakas na ulan
Para muling umukit ng bahaghari na animo’y walang katapusan

(Yung body clock ko po ay wala na sa matinong kalagayan..parang yung isip kong lumilipad patungo sa nakaraan at pilit gumigising para sa kasalukuyan.. At para paghandaan ang kinabukusan.)

Kwentong Kamay

“Ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..”

Hugot. Oo na sige na. Pero may tama naman sa sinabi ko..haha (ipush ko pa opinion ko)

Sino bang gustong bitawan? Sino bang gustong iwanan? Sino bang gustong masaktan? Kung meron man, siya yung totoong bato, hindi ako. Haha syempre wala! Walang may gustong umiyak habang nasa jeep. Umiyak sa library o opisina ng patago. Umiyak sa banyo bago maligo. Umiyak sa gabi na parang wala ng sisikat na araw kinabukasan. Wala talaga. Wala.

Pero kailan ba tayo nasasaktan? Kapag nasugatan? Kapag nawalan? Kapag iniwanan?

Maraming tanong. Maraming lumalarong tanong sa isipan. Pero sana huwag mong kalimutan, na habang hinahanap mo ang mga sagot sa tanong mo, pilit niya ring sinasagutan ang isang malaking palaisipan, na parang walang katapusan.

Sabi nga, ang kamay na hinampas mo sa pader, kahit gaano katigas ‘to, parehas lang din kayong naramdaman, kahit mukhang wala siyang pakialam.

Siguro, sa lahat din naman ng bagay dalawang panig ang sangkot. Hindi lang isa, dalawa. Minsan nga tatlo o higit pa. Hindi lang ikaw, pati rin naman siya.

Parehas may rason at dahilan. Parehas may pinanghuhugutan. Parehas may pinanggagalingan. Parang itim at puti. Yin at Yan. (tama ba) Kutsara at tinidor. Balde at tabo. Kanin at ulam. Papel at pluma. Po at Opo.

Kaya sa dalawang kamay na minsang mahigpit na nakahawak sa isa’t isa, dumarating sa puntong meron at merong mapapagod. Napapagod at bumibitaw. Bumitaw siya, eh ikaw, hinawakan mo pa rin ba? O sadyang ikaw din bumitaw na.

Dahil ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..

Pero ganun talaga. Masakit. Kaya minsan mapapamura ka nalang sa sakit. Hanggang sa humugot ka nalang kahit ang bitter ng pakinggan. Pero ang mahalaga dun, ginawa mo ang lahat para kumapit. Kumapit ka parin na para kang nakikisabit sa jeep, kahit nakakapagod na, kahit mukha ka ng tanga sa mata ng iba. Para sa oras na dumating sa puntong bababa ka na, handa ka ng isigaw:

“Manong drayber, Para!”

Hindi dahil sa pagod ka na. Kundi dahil alam mo sa sarili mong:

“Eto na ‘to, Tama na. P*%@#!&@!”

Oh, ako na naman yung bitter. Haha hindi ba pwedeng hugot para sa ibang taong nasaktan? 😛

Osya, pagaling na kayo! Kaya niyo yan. 🙂

The verge of being a Wanderlust in 13 to 50 different ways.

“As you wander and you are lost, you can’t help but to see a stranger in 13 to 50 different ways.”

It became a crucial thought to me about being lost as I travelled to my aunt’s house yesterday. (I arrived safe, if that’s your question.)

I realized a lot of things more than how I have been thinking about time.

First, as you wander and you are lost, you can’t help but to see a stranger in 13 to 50 different ways. You have to learn how to see through them. Learn how to trust even if you’re at the verge of nowhere.

Second, time never gets old. People do. So if you want to wander, it’s now or never.

This is a hard punch on my face. I have lived a life full of grid. And I’ve always thought it was okay. I suffered hesitations for 15 years. I realized maybe it’s about time to put a hedgehog on top of my head and dance like a baboon.

Third, I learned deeper than mantle of the earth, that family and friends are the best creations you could have. Savor it. Live with it. Laugh with it. Love it.

I have fought Aneurysm for a decade and a half now. It’s never been easy since I gained it young, I had to force myself to think like an adult. To know this and that. And if I tell you right now everything I have realized yesterday, you could tell how crazy my brain cells work. Because it’s just crazy.

But one thing I would like to have now for sure, I don’t give a damn how long I could conquer the challenge of Vascular Aneurysm. But I would like to pray deeply, that He would give me enough time to say thank you to every single person who prolonged my existence. To people who always give me reasons to go on. To people who don’t just make me feel gay, but define what really happiness is. To people whom I could trust when right paths are nowhere to be found. To people who love me in 13 to 50 different ways. ❤ ❤ ❤

Thank you! 🙂