“Not that big. But it hurts a lot. Not that much. But a lot.
But I’m so grateful that I have you.”
Everything was cluttered and my 24/7 was a robotic routine. Then I woke up one morning having a conversation with someone whom I would love for the next days of my crazy life.
I would be honest. I am enjoying what we have. It’s not that perfect, not every inch of it is a happy conversation; we’re starting to have arguments, and I don’t like what I feel, what I have felt, and to think of what I would feel.. But I like the idea of having arguments and silly conversations. It feels like growth.
Well in fact, yesterday, was one of those days.
I started to overthink.
Thinking that I might be a little bit too much (that I don’t talk too much). That if I do, I might over say it, and hurt both of us.
We have a lot of differences. I agree.
The Introvert meets The Extrovert.
I know and I was expecting little clashes and thunderstorms with our relationship because of those differences. I was surprised tho. That you were more aggressive on asking questions how we could work things out. And I appreciate that. It’s like telling me you love me more than how I behave towards silly stuff.
Silly stuff. When I start to create a trivial argument about you and your friends. Haha classic. I ran it like it’s a joke but yeah, I’m human. I get jealous too. I know you love and care for your friends, but you just have to love and care for me more. Or when those multi-colored hair characters start to dance on your screen and you seem to forget that I exist. Silly, but true. And I just thought, maybe it was just me.
But it hurts a lot when you seem not to listen and hear me talk about how rough my day was.. that I left my spoon and fork at home, that I’m having a hard time dealing with my fats, that I’m starting toasdfghjkl……………
Not that big. But it hurts a lot.
Not that much. But a lot.
And I’m sorry for being childish. I feel like a 26-year old kid. (haha)
Regardless of my silly thoughts, I am so grateful that I have you.
It’s almost a year since we started to count stars at night. Listen to raindrops and growling thunderstorms. We earned another year on our age. We celebrated the day of the fat guy in red who flies at night, and here we are. Another months to spend.
I hope by this time, I am more carefree. Carefree enough to tell you how I really feel.
So I could tell you what I like and what I don’t. So I could tell you how I feel. And how important you are to me. That sometimes, a simple hug could actually make me feel better. That a simple pat on my head could take away the bad mood I have on a certain day. That you are my fluffy bear and nothing would ever change that.
That you are my cookies, my coffee and my tea..
That I love you more than you know.
And I will love you, and wouldn’t stop until the moon say so.
It’s a rainy 7:47 in the morning of August 13, 2018.
Yeah, this was supposed to be future dated (next year). But I realized that if you want to say something, you have to do it now because tomorrow is never a promise. But we are all hopeful that it will be kept.
And I’m looking forward for another year.. and another year, and another year after that…until the sun becomes a white dwarf star. ❤
-Dapat hindi na kasali ‘tong picture na ‘to. Haha Pero gustong gusto ko talaga isali. Haha 😛 ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂 peace!
Edited|With a HeART|
I love you.