Papers? Please.

“Maybe we’ll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic.
I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me.
But right now, I am a chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.”

 

-I was just browsing and about to start with a term paper forwarded by a comrade and a confidant. And I found this from someone’s page.

(Why is everyone having a hard time lately. What’s with Holy week?)

 …

Papers? Please.

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Phantom of an Unfinished Subtle Tune

rain

Today, I decided to write an exultant piece

Like what I’ve written for the past few years

But now I don’t know what to put

Superman or the butterflies or the tears

And as the rain pours down

Creating a melancholic rhythm on the ground

There’s this persistent tune ensuing

I hear your sweet silly voice singing

And it keeps on whispering in my ear

Like a drug into my veins so sheer

Caressing every inch of my soul

Like a phantom to my deepest core

Real talk, Kwento na talaga, Wala munang drama

Sabi ko may kwento ko, napending. Haha

Ang asul na gusali.

Nagstart yan, nang maimbitahan ako ng kaibigan ko na pumasok sa asul na gusaling yun. Syempre, pipila at maghihintay. Worth it naman dahil kahit naghintay ako ng napakatagal, nakapasok ako. And what happened during those times? Lots of weird and happy stuff. Here’s a list:

Una, yung kasabay ko lumabas ng silid after ng exam, aba! Nagkwento sya sa walang kwentang girlfriend nya na iniwan sya. Pero pansin ko, sa ikot ng kwento, puro kamalian ni babae ang nabanggit niya. Mas paniniwalaan ko ang kwento kung may nasabi siyang isang mali niya kung bakit sila di nagwork-out. Weird kasi, anong kinalaman ko sa lovelife niya?? Hahaha Well, okay lang naman. Huli ko syang nakita sa lobby kasama ang kanyang dalawang kaibigan.

Pangalawa, ang hawakan ang kamay ko ng hindi ko ganun kakilalang tao. At nagpahawak naman ako, eh nagulat ako. Haha wala na kong nagawa. Di man lang hinintay na magsink-in sa isip niya ang thought na ma-offend-kaya-‘to? Ako nalang nahiya para sa kanya..haha

Pangatlo, nang makilala ko ang isang matatag na babae. Kailangan  niyang lumiban, dahil meron siyang karamdaman. Sabi ko sa kanya, ang trabaho andyan lang, pero ang kalusugan, dapat inuuna yan. Pagaling ka! 🙂

Pang-apat, hindi pa ko nakakahawak ng keyboard, nakilala ko na sila 🙂 At isa sila sa dahilan kung bakit ako nakapasok sa asul na gusaling yun. Salamat po.

Pang-apat, naranasan ko ang isang nakakatakot na gabi. :)) Nakakatakot kasi akala ko may dudugo sa isa sa kanila pero wala. Buti naman. Tinry naman daw kasing pigilan. lol

Panglima, Etong isang  ‘toh medyo sensitibo. lol Pero parte sya ng kwento ko kaya, please bear with me. Nung isali sa intro kung virgin pa. HAHAHAHA -_- Nagulat ako pasensya na. Yung tipong, syettt-required-malaman?? Like, yes I still am. And I’m not ashamed to say that. This is 20th century but I still value such stuff. Ehh, kanya kanyang paniniwala yan. I still value marriage and conservative values of old culture. Pero, nakakapraning pa din sagutin. Sorry haha. but it’s okay. 😀

Pang-anim, nung makatanggap ako ng cienteng galit kasi antok na daw sya, at ayaw nya na ng maraming detalye, but I can’t do anything but to say the call-flow religiously. At sinigawan niya ko braddd!!!!! Di ko makakalimutan yun. Ayoko ng may sumisigaw.. ayoko.

Pangpito, para sa unang cleinte kong nagpasalamat sa akin. It feels good. Di mo maeexplain. It feels good, that’s it.

Pangwalo, ang last day ng training, kung saan, samasama kaming kumain sa hapag-kainan. Isa yun sa pinakamagandang araw ng routine ko sa asul na gusali. At syempre, unli rice kasi yun! hahaha

Pangsiyam, nang pinagbenta ko ng isang trainer sa isa sa mga meeting namin. At paglabas ko, may sinabi siyang magandang bagay. Well, thank you Ma’am. 🙂 Na-appreciate ko. (It’s not related to our discussion, ’cause it was something personal. And that made my day.) Hndi ko alam yun, but thank you for letting me know.

Pangsampu, ang pang-araw araw kong pagpasok sa asul na gusaling yun. Kung saan araw araw akong nakakatagpo ng iba’t ibang klaseng tao. Minsan nakakatuwa, minsan, nakakalungkot, nakakainspire, minsan nakakainis, minsan nakakapikon, pero at the end of the day, good things still matter more. And all we can do is to say thank you because bad or good, that makes us alive. 🙂

At ngayong araw? Nakausap ko ang isang nanay. Puno ng pangarap ang kwento niya para sa onse anyos niyang anak na babae. Nakakatuwang marinig ang kwento ni Nanay dahil lalo kong mas napatunayan na tama ang desisyon kong ituloy ang pagpasok ko sa asul na gusali.

At alam kong, araw araw, maraming kwento akong mapupulot dito. May maganda, may di ganon kaganda, but the thing is, life is an adventure, sabi nga ni lola. 🙂

-At hindi na naman luto ang carrot ni Manang Josie sa mami niya. Ano ko kuneho?? :)) Ay meron pa pala! Nung kumanta ko. Haha pero nakwento ko na yun. At ayoko ng ulitin yun :))

The truth is…

Funny isn’t it? That life has a very common pattern of happiness-sadness routine. How long does it take to lose pleasure or bliss? It takes just a second my dear.  At one snap, every single reason you have to be in full joy could vanish right away. For what reason? Just that. And like that. Ironically you can’t do something. You’re out of control. It just happens.

But why do good things leave us the way nobody would want to be left alone in nowhere? Or why would people we love and care about would even try to leave us behind? At my work, it’s a protocol to ask: What’s holding you back? But in real life, we can’t ask the same question. Because doing so is comprehending us making another mistake from throwing out that one. We feel so naïve on that part where we believed on what our hearts desire for. It’s just too painful… No, it isn’t painful at all. It’s more likely and better to be called raw feelings I guess?

(The truth is, I feel hurt. Because you asked me to stay, and I said yes, I will. But you’ve made me feel I stayed for no one.)

*hands up*