To My Queen: Happy Birthday Esan! *love*

 

“To all the Kings in our gaseous sphere.. Treat your Queen just the way they should be treated. If you can’t, forget about trying. Don’t even think about it. Don’t even breathe. *haha*char* “

 

mama

 

*Wala na tayong ibang picture kaya ito na lang ulit haha*

*Kasi walang mahilig magpicture sa ating dalawa*

 

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A mom is a superhero before one’s eyes.

They said it’s difficult to save the earth alone. But earth revolved for billions of years, and believe me.. Moms ruled the earth. There could have been a lot of  Mother T-rex before who cared for their little T-rex.

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And they’re never allowed to complain when they’re in pain. They try to subdue and ease it. They try to be there.

They try.

They always do.

 

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They are the most precious luxury anyone could have.  And it’s for free. They could get a little loony sometimes..but that’s just how they show their love.

 

 

|To Mama|

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Hey.. Happy Birthday Ma 🙂 Masarap pa rin ang luto mo kahit anong sabihin nila..

*haha*

 

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At Salamat sa walang sawang pag-aalaga. 🙂

 

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Huwag ka po mag-alala..

Matututo rin ako na maglaba. 😀

 

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Okay. *haha* ❤

 

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Ganun pa man, kahit mas madalas na ako na lang mag-isa sa pila, alam kong bago ko pa  makita si Miss Cashier.

Darating ka.

Lagi.

Dahil nasayo yung pitaka. *haha*

 

P.S. Sana mas showy tayo sa isa’t isa, kahit hindi talaga. *haha* Mas sweet pa ko sa mga kaibigan ko. 

At sana humaba pa ng maraming maraming marami ang kulot mong buhok. 

Stay healthy. And whole.

And you’re still beautiful.

Maligayang Kaarawan Esan! *love*

 

 

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A letter to Corazon

Dear Corazon,

(To whoever who’s reading this, she’s my aunt: a friend of mom)

I am situated in a jeepney, sitting and waiting for this four-wheel vehicle to arrive at my destination. While I was trying to send a message and to send a reply from yours, my tears just can’t help it but to burst. And all your hardships, efforts, care, love and support were like freaking thunders that kept on flashing my head. You’ve fulfilled and still fulfilling my dreams and plans.. Biologically speaking, you don’t even have a single strand of my complicated DNA. But there you are, you’re another mom who loves me like your own. If only I could look back and make a list of all the things I could say thank you for? I would. It’s just that my blog isn’t enough to have that list. And I need a lifetime to write it down. But I’ll take this very moment, to say thank you simply because you love me that much. And we both know why words are not enough to express what I meant when I said that. Just because. 🙂

Thank you for giving me a life. I love you. :*

Your daughter,

Apple ❤

No title, just me and that stupid part (and my happy thoughts :) )

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“Because unanswered questions are answered by prayers..”

It’s been years, two? three? or even more than that. This melancholic photos of rolled mini letters taken few years ago..(na parang mga binilot na smoke, yes, mga sulat po yan. Mga sulat na di na nakarating sa dapat paroonan.) And people in cliche thoughts, there are a lot of things that are better left unsaid. But for years I’ve been yearning for answers however I know there’s none. Or probably, I was just too naive and too hopeless to make myself believe that there would be responses to those questions.

Questions. And the “better left unsaid”.

Was it too much to ask for you to answer simple questions?

I didn’t get that. And I don’t get it still. The thought of leaving people hanging on unanswered questions is just so stupid. Wow, I can’t believe I can say that now. The “stupid” part. haha Yes it is. And from that day, I realized I’d be living this life seeking for answers..at nahanap ko na ang sagot sa mga tanong ko. Ang iba nahanap ko sa basurahan, ang iba sa putikan, ang iba sa itaas ng kisame. (ay wala palang kisame ang bahay namin.)

From then on, I promised to myself that I would try my best to answer every f@#$%&* single question that is thrown to me. No. I won’t be sorry for that. The f@#$%&* part. (mga three times kung nirevise kung bubuuin ko ba ang salitang yan o lalagyan ko nalang ng konting art haha.) I can’t say it is a bold thing to do. But answering questions somehow lightens the world’s deepest sorrows. Naniniwala ako dun. At patuloy kong paniniwalaan yun.

Hindi isang laro ang pagtatanong..hindi isang laro ang kagustuhang malaman ang isang bagay na nagdadala ng kalituhan sa isipan ng isang tao. Sa bawat tanong na walang kasagutan ay nagbibigay daan sa sinasabi nating kalungkutan.

The chaos brought by unanswered questions ratifies endless grief and poor life navigation. Sino ka, para sirain ang direksyon ng buhay ng tao dahil lang sa kagustuhan mong iwanan ng nakatiwangwang ang tanong niya? Sino ka para sabihing hindi na kailangan pang malaman ng tao ang sagot? Sino ka para makapanakit ng tao?

Nevertheless..people learn. People adapt. People change. And people get better. People move on. Hindi sila para mabuhay sa iniwan mong tanong. Sa tanong na kayang hilumin ang sugat ng kahapon. Sa tanong na kayang sagutin ng panahon at ng pagkakataon.

—-

“Because unanswered questions are answered by prayers..”

It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? 🙂

Mama: Oo, maganda ang araw ngayon, kaya maglinis ka!

HAHAHAHAHA spoiler, kakahiya naman sa nanay ko. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

To Ma. Esan, Happy Mother’s Day :)

“..She knows when your heart is happy and when it is in pain..”

Hi! Mother’s day ngayon. Ang totoo nyan palagi kong nakakalimutan ang araw na ‘to. It’s not that it isn’t an important day, I’m not just used to marking up calendars for events and celebrations. Mas marami pa ata ang mga hindi planadong bonding ang nangyayari sa buhay naming mag-ina. Tulad ng..pauwi kami ng Bicol, straight to Naga ang byahe..”Kamusta na kaya sila tita..” nabanggit ng nanay ko. At ako eh.. “Tara?” 🙂 And we had to wait for another few hours to get there in Legazpi, Albay. At isa yun sa pinakamasayang bakasyon ng buhay ko. That was 5 years ago. Ang taon kung kelan umikot ng 180 degrees ang buhay ko. Ang taon kung kelan unti unting tumigil ang takbo ng mundo ko.. I’d say..that was the saddest hours.. And the only option I had that time was to convince myself that I’d be okay. And my mom..she wasn’t okay then.

Pero ayun na nga, haha nakarating kami sa bahay nila lola imbes sa bahay namin sa Naga. It was an exquisite morning, kitang kita mo ang ganda at hugis ng Mayon. Parang ang tahimik, malayo sa kung ano mang nakakasulasok na dumi ang meron dito sa Maynila.

Bakas sa mukha ng nanay ko ang saya.. Maybe because I was enjoying our stay there.. But I was more thankful ’cause she was feeling better. 🙂 see? That mutual thing. That very love and affection..Masaya ka dahil alam mong napasaya mo ang taong mahalaga sa’yo..pero mas masarap isipin na ang taong yun eh yun din ang gustong gawin para sa’yo. To make you feel better and happy. ’cause SHE knows when you’re heart is in cloud nine..and when it is in pain..pano? Di ko alam. Siguro magic. Yung tipong di mo pa sinasabi sa nanay mo, alam niya na kaagad ang iniisip mo..o ang nararamdaman mo.

Kaya sa espesyal na araw na ‘to.. Walang larawan. Walang tula. Walang kung ano man ang madalas na makita sa newsfeed. Nagawa ko na yun noon, ang pangit ko sa picture. Hahaha..

Pero ngayon, simpleng pagbabahagi lang ng kwento naming mag-ina. Dahil simple lang naman ang ibig sabihin ng araw na ‘to para sa’kin.. Mahal ko Mama ko. At walang pwede nung bumura. 🙂

-HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY. ❤ ❤ ❤

Gusto ko ring pasalamatan ang mga NANAY/MAMA/MUMMY/MOM ng mga taong nakapaligid sa buhay ko. Kung di po dahil sa inyo.. wala po sila sa tabi ko.

A lingering thought

My thoughts linger at night.. Sometimes I think about paper, sometimes it’s about the next series I’m going to watch, sometimes it’s about playing games..but tonight.. It is you.

I realized I want you to stay in my daily routine.

Miss ko na nanay ko. I still can’t do things on my own. 😐 Mahirap magpanggap na marunong ako maglutooooo 😦 Di ko makain tngnaaa hahaha Kaya please.. tapusin mo na po lakad mo. Gusto ko ng adobo. 😦