Kwentong Kamay

“Ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..”

Hugot. Oo na sige na. Pero may tama naman sa sinabi ko..haha (ipush ko pa opinion ko)

Sino bang gustong bitawan? Sino bang gustong iwanan? Sino bang gustong masaktan? Kung meron man, siya yung totoong bato, hindi ako. Haha syempre wala! Walang may gustong umiyak habang nasa jeep. Umiyak sa library o opisina ng patago. Umiyak sa banyo bago maligo. Umiyak sa gabi na parang wala ng sisikat na araw kinabukasan. Wala talaga. Wala.

Pero kailan ba tayo nasasaktan? Kapag nasugatan? Kapag nawalan? Kapag iniwanan?

Maraming tanong. Maraming lumalarong tanong sa isipan. Pero sana huwag mong kalimutan, na habang hinahanap mo ang mga sagot sa tanong mo, pilit niya ring sinasagutan ang isang malaking palaisipan, na parang walang katapusan.

Sabi nga, ang kamay na hinampas mo sa pader, kahit gaano katigas ‘to, parehas lang din kayong naramdaman, kahit mukhang wala siyang pakialam.

Siguro, sa lahat din naman ng bagay dalawang panig ang sangkot. Hindi lang isa, dalawa. Minsan nga tatlo o higit pa. Hindi lang ikaw, pati rin naman siya.

Parehas may rason at dahilan. Parehas may pinanghuhugutan. Parehas may pinanggagalingan. Parang itim at puti. Yin at Yan. (tama ba) Kutsara at tinidor. Balde at tabo. Kanin at ulam. Papel at pluma. Po at Opo.

Kaya sa dalawang kamay na minsang mahigpit na nakahawak sa isa’t isa, dumarating sa puntong meron at merong mapapagod. Napapagod at bumibitaw. Bumitaw siya, eh ikaw, hinawakan mo pa rin ba? O sadyang ikaw din bumitaw na.

Dahil ang kamay na bumitaw sa’yo ay hindi makakawala kung hawak hawak pa rin ‘to ng kamay mo..

Pero ganun talaga. Masakit. Kaya minsan mapapamura ka nalang sa sakit. Hanggang sa humugot ka nalang kahit ang bitter ng pakinggan. Pero ang mahalaga dun, ginawa mo ang lahat para kumapit. Kumapit ka parin na para kang nakikisabit sa jeep, kahit nakakapagod na, kahit mukha ka ng tanga sa mata ng iba. Para sa oras na dumating sa puntong bababa ka na, handa ka ng isigaw:

“Manong drayber, Para!”

Hindi dahil sa pagod ka na. Kundi dahil alam mo sa sarili mong:

“Eto na ‘to, Tama na. P*%@#!&@!”

Oh, ako na naman yung bitter. Haha hindi ba pwedeng hugot para sa ibang taong nasaktan? 😛

Osya, pagaling na kayo! Kaya niyo yan. 🙂

A man without dreams

A man without dreams doesn’t dream at all. He just sleeps, faces the dawn, soils his body and when sunset comes, he closes his eyes again.

A man without dreams doesn’t think. Because if he does, there will be a chain of consequences, results, hardships and most of all changes. A man without dreams doesn’t change. And he doesn’t think. Where the fuck are your brain cells?

A man without dreams hurt people. Why? Because he’s selfish. He doesn’t allow people to have chances. To grow. To love. To think. To change. To dream. He doesn’t even know how to give himself a chance to do all things. He just lives.

A man without dreams lives alone. He’s a lonely man.

A man without dreams is a chaos. Because he spreads nothing.

But how does a man without dreams, dream nothing?

Maybe because he doesn’t want to dream at all? Nor he wants to chase any opportunity. Nor he lives with idealism. He just lives. And when fate comes, he simply goes back to dust. And the wind blows him away.

And I hope nobody inhales him.

Or maybe, he doesn’t dream at all because his dreams failed him. And it took his time away.

So maybe he’s not a man without dreams.

He is a man who lost his dreams.

-a very sad thought.

Couch&Potatoes: How To Be Single

How To Be Single

“Heart never fails to remember.”

I’d always say.

Thumbs up to all singles there. Whatever “heart stat” you got, it doesn’t make any difference.

Still, there’s..

COMMITMENT.

Taken: Committed to what they have.

Single: Committed to what they have NOW.

There’s..

VULNERABILITY.

Taken: To what could happen.

Single: To what could have happened.

And there’s..

TRUST.

Taken: For each other.

Single: For oneself. Extending it to others.

Another important thing is TIME..

Taken: For each other.

Single: For everyone.

Then there’s..

STRUGGLE.

Taken: There’s no perfect relationship.

Single: You’re not perfect. But it’s okay.

But of course each has these so called..

LOVE. And FATE.

Taken: Share it with pure joy. And making it stronger.

Single. Shower it with grace. AND GETTING STRONGER.

-HALUH. :p

I feel bad simply because I’ve hurt someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt in such way. Sometimes we do things, or we make decisions that are not meant to hurt or not meant to cause pain to anybody, but we must do it because we don’t want to give any further pain.. or we don’t want to cut the wound deeper..

-It was a cool day but.. I still feel bad. And I don’t think an apology could supress the pain I’ve caused. Sleeping with a heavy heart is the worst. 😦 and it feels like shit ..

Kwentong Panggabi: #SingleProblems

Sabi ko, “Lord bigyan Niyo po ‘ko ng social life.”

At dumagdag ang friends ko sa Facebook.

Tapos, “Lord, bigyan Niyo po ‘ko ng night life.”

Literal. Night life. (At habang tinatype ko ‘to, bumabyahe na ‘ko sa jeep.)

February na so, “Lord, bigyan Niyo po ‘ko ng love life.”

“Lord?”

“Hello po?”

“Hello??”

“He..”

” . . . ”

” ”

Hahaha 🙂 #singleproblems #happyandgay #roadtrip #morework #moremoney

#MayForeverDinNaman #PeroDepende

February na naman. Ang buwan kung saan naghahanda ang mga Single kung paano malalampasan ang masalimuot na February 14. HAHAHA

Wala daw kasing FOREVER. Kaya patuloy na may magluluksa sa araw na nasabi. At isa ‘ko sa mga kasapi ng samahang ‘yan. Palagi ko ring sinasabing #WalangForever #LifetimeLang Hindi dahil sa bitter ako or what (pero ganun na din yun, palusot lang yun ng iba na hindi pa matanggap ang karumaldumal na sinapit ng puso nilang nawasak ng malagim na kahapon), palagi kong sinasabi, walang forever because “they’re mere mortals who are not worth going to the grave for.”

Pero depende. DEPENDE.

-Busy akong magtaguyod ng sambayanang Pilipino. Haha Pasensya naaa