Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

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|Photo credits|K. P.|

|A good friend will celebrate her birthday tomorrow|She took this photo a month ago|

|If she will be able to read my page|I would like her to know how grateful I am to be part of her life|

|I may not be the friend who always roll for millennial stuff|

|I love old times|I tend to love things that will grow old|

|A friend whom you would remember even if you turn 80|

|I may not be as showy as others|tagging stuff|social media alerts|

|But I always try my best to attach some strings to people I care about |A string that will get old eventually|

|…|

z1

|To Zela|

I will never forget when you handed me tons of sheets and I will always be grateful to know that someone like you, would actually see my efforts towards the people I care for.. to people I love.

Helping others is not easy for me. Because knowing people is not my skill. Knowing people is my fear. And I’m thankful because you have torn that fear and you let me become part of your life.

I always tell you that eyes never lie. And I’m sorry if I can’t help myself to speak about tears.. and pain.. But I know that you could get through all of it. You’ve shown enough courage. And you deserve  pure happiness.

(Remember the day you had to leave that glass door?) I was really proud of myself that it didn’t brought me into tears. You wanna know why? Because in a short span of time, you’ve made me feel that you’ll never leave a shit out of me. That you’re ready to break walls, flaring your colored hair, just to see me because you’re my friend. And friends will never forget.

And yes it’s okay to cry. That maybe we can’t understand everything, but always remember that everything happens for a reason. That every single thing will fall in its own place. And everything will be fine.

Repay me nothing. Because I love what I do. And I would love to tease you more..to talk to you more often..to take more pictures of ourselves..to eat more..to start painting our plans.

I love hugs. Because hugs were meant for friendships.

You are vocal enough. And I could hear you from within. If you think I can’t hear you, kick the door, break some glasses, until I hear you. Until I see your eyes..then I will listen. Because I’ll never get tired to listen.

Simply because you are my friend. And no LOB could change that. Make sense? *hihi*

—–from your friend who has the same mental disorder as yours
P.S. I still love my tinapay with molds. But I love you more.

 

Happy Birthday To My Friend Who Makes My Life A Little Bit Louder! 

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Vagabond

“I want to be someone’s memory rather than a daily routine.”

owl

|Photo Credits|E.N|

 

Before I eat another cookie, I would like to say thank you to all the gods and deities who made this week a little extraordinary than my daily routine. Reminding me that I have a 24-hour right to breathe and to forget about all the turmoils. And it made me think somehow. It made me think of good things.

Somebody asked me, what’s your wish on your special day? I answered:

World peace.

Maybe it humored him a bit and asked again, what’s your wish? For yourself. And I answered:

Inner peace.

 

I wish for everyone’s peace of mind. Because that will help them to regain health.

I wish for my inner peace so I can extend myself more to others.

Few months ago, I spoke to one of my colleagues (she’s a good friend too) in the balcony where I usually drench myself at lunch. She said looking at the skyline, she wanted to make a dent and to create a change. It’s a great thought, I’d say. And I told her to pursue her dreams. She’s continuing her studies now and I hope for all the blessings and odds to be on her side. She’s a good kid.

And it made me think…

I also want to make a dent. But not that big. Nor to create a change in large scale.

My lifetime will never be enough:

tile

But a simple dent to someone’s heart.

A dent that couldn’t change everything but could remind that person from time to time that it’s okay.

That it’s okay to eat pizza with a lot of pepper. That it’s okay to drink Chuckie even if you turn 80. That it’s okay to cry in public. That it’s okay to be hurt. (Because sooner or later it will be okay.) That it’s okay to get nightmares. That it’s okay to get tired. (Simply because we’re human.) That it’s okay to get crazy in love. It’s okay to commit mistakes. (As long as you treat it as a friendly reminder the next day.) That it’s okay to be in pain. (It strengthens your soul.)

It’s okay. It’s okay because that’s how life works.

(And I just used the word “okay” thirteen times. Haha)

I want to be someone’s memory rather than a daily routine.

P.S.

Thank you for all the greetings! God bless you all. 🙂

 

**And why Vagabond? Wala lang. Gusto ko lang yung word. Haha It describes exactly my thoughts. Blog ko naman ‘to kaya walang pakialamanan sa titulo.

Kailan?

Kailan titila ang pagbuhos ng ulan
Na akala mo’y wala ng mapaglagyan

Kailan mahahawi ang kalangitan
Para dumungaw ang araw, at ngiti’y muling masilayan

Kailan guguhit ang pitong tulay ng kalangitan
Na siyang kukulay sa magulong kaisipan

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan muling guguhit
Ang mga ngiting hindi umiimik

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan titila ang malakas na pagbuhos
Ang pusong nadurog na ng lubos

Kailan, kailan..
Kailan masasagot ang mga katanungan
Mga bagay na pilit pinahahalagahan
Unti unti nang nabubura ng tubig ulan

Tama na, pagod na pagod na
Wala ka bang balak magpahinga?

Kailan, kailan
Kailan titila ang napakalakas na ulan
Para muling umukit ng bahaghari na animo’y walang katapusan

(Yung body clock ko po ay wala na sa matinong kalagayan..parang yung isip kong lumilipad patungo sa nakaraan at pilit gumigising para sa kasalukuyan.. At para paghandaan ang kinabukusan.)

The verge of being a Wanderlust in 13 to 50 different ways.

“As you wander and you are lost, you can’t help but to see a stranger in 13 to 50 different ways.”

It became a crucial thought to me about being lost as I travelled to my aunt’s house yesterday. (I arrived safe, if that’s your question.)

I realized a lot of things more than how I have been thinking about time.

First, as you wander and you are lost, you can’t help but to see a stranger in 13 to 50 different ways. You have to learn how to see through them. Learn how to trust even if you’re at the verge of nowhere.

Second, time never gets old. People do. So if you want to wander, it’s now or never.

This is a hard punch on my face. I have lived a life full of grid. And I’ve always thought it was okay. I suffered hesitations for 15 years. I realized maybe it’s about time to put a hedgehog on top of my head and dance like a baboon.

Third, I learned deeper than mantle of the earth, that family and friends are the best creations you could have. Savor it. Live with it. Laugh with it. Love it.

I have fought Aneurysm for a decade and a half now. It’s never been easy since I gained it young, I had to force myself to think like an adult. To know this and that. And if I tell you right now everything I have realized yesterday, you could tell how crazy my brain cells work. Because it’s just crazy.

But one thing I would like to have now for sure, I don’t give a damn how long I could conquer the challenge of Vascular Aneurysm. But I would like to pray deeply, that He would give me enough time to say thank you to every single person who prolonged my existence. To people who always give me reasons to go on. To people who don’t just make me feel gay, but define what really happiness is. To people whom I could trust when right paths are nowhere to be found. To people who love me in 13 to 50 different ways. ❤ ❤ ❤

Thank you! 🙂

Kwentong Pag-ibig: Love is blind, deaf, mute, numb, colorful, great… Lahat na, P*%@&?!@!!!

“Dahil ang Pag-ibig ay masasabi kong isang napakagandang pagkukulang na masarap kulayan at nakatadhanang punan.”

February na naman! Hello sa mga may jowa, kunware may jowa, nangangarap magkajowa, at syempre sa mga nawalan ng jowa, mawawalan ng jowa at higit sa lahat.. Yung walang jowa! 🙂

(the term** haha!)

¤¤LOVE IS BLIND¤¤

Madalas kong marinig, makita ang mga katagang ito. Bulag nga ba ang Pag-ibig? Yung tipong nagkaroon na ng union ang pamilya, mga kamag-anak at mga kaibigan mo, kulang na lang isali ng nanay mo si Kapitan Tiyago sa samahan nila para lang ipamukha sayo na hindi siya karapatdapat para sayo. Kasi daw oso sya. (Bakit, cute naman yung oso ah?) Pero hindi kasi yun. Kahit anong sabihin nila, alam kong ang bawat isa ay may kanya kanyang sagot sa katanungang “BAKIT SIYA?”. At walang taong pwedeng magdikta kung sino ang bibigyan mo ng matamis na Oo or kung sinong liligawan/mamahalin mo.

¤¤LOVE IS DEAF¤¤

Bingi raw ang Pag-ibig. Kasi kahit anong sigaw mo, minsan hindi ka marinig. Hindi ka na niya naririnig..

“Punta ko ng Wonderland.”

“Ingat ka.”

“Ano?! The line is breaking. I’m with girls. Ano ulit?!”

“T*ngina! Mahal kita!”

“Mahal din kita.”

“Ano?! I’m with someone. Low batt na ko. Bye! ”

¤¤LOVE IS MUTE.¤¤

Yung tipong gusto mong ipagsigawang importante ‘tong tao sayo. Taong may espesyal na space. Pero nautot ka nalang sa katatago ng feelings mo. Kasi nga, Love is Mute. So kapag nagsama si Love is Deaf at Love is Mute.. Wala na. Wala ng pag-asa. (Ooops! Meron pa! Huwag kang bitter. Haha Habang nabubuhay, may pag-asa. 🙂 )

¤¤LOVE IS NUMB.¤¤

Ayan naaa. Manhid ka. MANHID KA!!! Hahahaha blog ko ‘to. :p

Sa lahat ng may minamahal, na kulang nalang gumulong ka ng isang daang beses sa harapan niya, kulang nalang ibigay mo yung Jupiter sa kanya, kulang na lang ibigay mo na yung ngipin mo para punan ang ngiti niya, kulang nalang.. kulang. T*ngina! Parang kulang pa rin. Hindi ka pa rin niya maramdaman. Ang tanong, MAHAL KA BA NIYA?

Tandaan. Sabi nga nila..

I LOVE YOU is not a question. It’s a statement. And it’s not meant to be answered.

Maybe it’s just meant to be felt.

BLIND. DEAF. MUTE. NUMB.

Maglilipana na naman ang kakornihan ng buong sanlibutan sa darating na Valentine’s Day. Pero kahit anong gawin mo, kahit anong pigil mo.. Ang araw na ito ay dadaan sa kalendaryo para ipaalala ang nakasanayang kahulugan ng araw na ito, Araw ng mga Puso. Puso na sumisimbolo sa Pag-ibig.

Isang salitang nagbibigay kulay sa buhay ng mga tao. Isang bagay na nagsisilbing paalala sa atin na tayo ay may pagkukulang. Na tayo ay may nakalaang espasyo para masabi nating, may mga bagay na hindi natin nakikita.. Sigaw na hindi naririnig.. Mga salitang hindi masabi.. At mga bagay na hindi natin maramdaman.

Pero hindi ibig sabihin nito na tayo ay punong puno ng pagkukulang. Isa lamang itong patunay na ang Pag-ibig ang pinakamagandang bagay sa mundo na pinagsasaluhan ng dalawang taong pawang may kapansanan ngunit hinding hindi ito magiging isang hadlang..

Dahil ang Pag-ibig ay masasabi kong isang napakagandang pagkukulang na masarap kulayan at nakatadhanang punan.”

-HAPPY VALENTIMES DAY! Haha Ay Valentine’s pala. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ Ang araw na 'to ay para sa lahat. Para sa lahat ng taong may puso at nagmamahal. ❤

Corny. Haha

(SHOUT OUT nga pala sa kaibigan kong magbibirthday ngayong February 14! Huwag ka nang magtampo sa akin. Huhu Love pa rin kita kahit binubully mo ko. Kasi, may kapansanan ako. At isa ka sa pumupuno nun. 🙂 Hello sa inaanak kong pogi!)

¤¤¤Syeettt! Paano nga ba ulit magmahal? 😀 😛 🙂 ❤ …¤¤¤

A Simple Truth About Happiness: When everything feels right

Before I take my deprived rights on sleeping, I would like to kiss my tears away by spending some minutes on my page while I’m trying to convince you (whoever’s reading) that my post has something to do with your life.. and your feelings.. And your thoughts. Haha nyanya

I am pondering about how people find happiness in different ways. Some find it in shoes stored in cabinets with skeletons. Some find it in food like “Arrghh food is forever and I want to marry as many food as I want because I love to eat and it makes me fat”. Or people find it in books and coffee and cookies and music and beaches and cars and places..

Want some more?

Cosmetics and dogs and cats and alcohol and smoke and dresses and photographs and curtains and papers and stickers and spoons and movies..

Or maybe we could find happiness in family and friendship and work and love and tranquility and peace and time and trust and hope and faith..

And I could add some more and finish this post in year 3000 or even more.

Maybe because we always try to find happiness in everything.

But today somebody reminded me that happiness will never be a “find me” puzzle. Because happiness (I would say) happens not completely because it’s the right time nor person nor place nor situation.

But simply because IT FEELS RIGHT. And it takes tons of courage and guts to jump into that it-feels-right feeling.

(And when something goes wrong that’s the time we forget what happiness is.)

-TOO MUCH FOR TODAY. A very loooong start of the week. My happiness is sleep. 🙂 ❤

2017: Chasing Happiness

“Because it’s not just everybody deserves to be happy, but everyone has a chance to grab happiness and chose to have it.”

2016.

A year full of chances and opportunities. It brought me lessons I would bring through the succeeding years. It taught me a lot of things. Things that are more important than what our naked eyes could see. It even took me to places with little essence of paradise. And most importantly, it has given me a chance to make things right and straighten crooked lines from 2015.

I learned that your best friend could forget your birthday, but it doesn’t matter anymore after a 13 second sad momentum because you love her more than what odds could bring. I learned that not all would stay the same. It’s not that you aren’t aware of the phenomenal changes on earth, but you always chose to believe it has to be like this because it was fucking like this before. But no, you don’t need changes-acceptance. You had that. What you need is a little sprinkle of reality that “change” is a status quo. However, it only works through your mind, but not to your heart. Because what you feel would fade, but nah-uh..it wouldn’t change. (Like, you loved Chuckie drink, it fades but you’ll never forget the feeling every time you take a chocolatey sip.) 2016 brought me a piece of opportunity to “fix myself” though. You could start with my job, new acquaintances, friendship, and you could include love. Oh, that freaking feeling.

Nevertheless, 2016 taught me that love is and will never be adjacent to fate. You feel it, but it was never crafted across your lead. You have to explore it, you have to fight for it, you have to chose it and most of all you have to let him/her know that you’re willing to do what you have just read. *laughs* sort of like that. Am I going to do it? I don’t know yet. 2017 knows.

Friendship. Chances. Fate. Love. What else did I learn?

Oh, yah. One more thing.

I learned that not wearing a watch makes you more human. Haha believe me or not you have to believe me. Time flies baby. And you’ll never know what you’re missing within 3 seconds every time you look at your watch, every time you feel the pressure of time. Breathe. Think. And then breathe again.

Time is a man-made grid. Not bad to forget it some time.

Lastly, I want to take this as an opportunity to tell you (whoever’s reading) that life could be miserable, sad and arrogant most of the time.. but have the right to chose happiness. Because it’s not just everybody deserves to be happy, but everyone has a chance to grab and chose to have it.

Say thank you to last year, and say hi to 2017. A year full of chances. Full of choices. *** Well, it’s always been, pal! 🙂 ***