No title, just me and that stupid part (and my happy thoughts :) )

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“Because unanswered questions are answered by prayers..”

It’s been years, two? three? or even more than that. This melancholic photos of rolled mini letters taken few years ago..(na parang mga binilot na smoke, yes, mga sulat po yan. Mga sulat na di na nakarating sa dapat paroonan.) And people in cliche thoughts, there are a lot of things that are better left unsaid. But for years I’ve been yearning for answers however I know there’s none. Or probably, I was just too naive and too hopeless to make myself believe that there would be responses to those questions.

Questions. And the “better left unsaid”.

Was it too much to ask for you to answer simple questions?

I didn’t get that. And I don’t get it still. The thought of leaving people hanging on unanswered questions is just so stupid. Wow, I can’t believe I can say that now. The “stupid” part. haha Yes it is. And from that day, I realized I’d be living this life seeking for answers..at nahanap ko na ang sagot sa mga tanong ko. Ang iba nahanap ko sa basurahan, ang iba sa putikan, ang iba sa itaas ng kisame. (ay wala palang kisame ang bahay namin.)

From then on, I promised to myself that I would try my best to answer every f@#$%&* single question that is thrown to me. No. I won’t be sorry for that. The f@#$%&* part. (mga three times kung nirevise kung bubuuin ko ba ang salitang yan o lalagyan ko nalang ng konting art haha.) I can’t say it is a bold thing to do. But answering questions somehow lightens the world’s deepest sorrows. Naniniwala ako dun. At patuloy kong paniniwalaan yun.

Hindi isang laro ang pagtatanong..hindi isang laro ang kagustuhang malaman ang isang bagay na nagdadala ng kalituhan sa isipan ng isang tao. Sa bawat tanong na walang kasagutan ay nagbibigay daan sa sinasabi nating kalungkutan.

The chaos brought by unanswered questions ratifies endless grief and poor life navigation. Sino ka, para sirain ang direksyon ng buhay ng tao dahil lang sa kagustuhan mong iwanan ng nakatiwangwang ang tanong niya? Sino ka para sabihing hindi na kailangan pang malaman ng tao ang sagot? Sino ka para makapanakit ng tao?

Nevertheless..people learn. People adapt. People change. And people get better. People move on. Hindi sila para mabuhay sa iniwan mong tanong. Sa tanong na kayang hilumin ang sugat ng kahapon. Sa tanong na kayang sagutin ng panahon at ng pagkakataon.

—-

“Because unanswered questions are answered by prayers..”

It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? 🙂

Mama: Oo, maganda ang araw ngayon, kaya maglinis ka!

HAHAHAHAHA spoiler, kakahiya naman sa nanay ko. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

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Felix Matris Dies

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I hate her.  I hate her most of the time.

It’s too early to be disappointed with this post. Please bear with me. I love her though. I hate her 100%. But there’s this magical yet annoying button which automatically transforms “hating her” to “loving her” or “”caring for her. I hate that part too—-a little.

 

You might wonder why I don’t like my mom in some odd ways. She’s an alien. Don’t laugh, I mean it. You’ll never understand her. If there’s one human being who could and would understand her—-don’t count on me. *hahaha* She would say she likes red and then after a minute “Hey why RED?!! Why that DAMN REDDDD??”

 

She scolds me to 10: 3 for some stupid reasons; 7 for no reasons at all.  She does what she wants. She shouts whenever, wherever she gets the chance. And I hate her for that. Outrageous.

 

We’re a little—-nahhh. Far different, I’ll say. She’s loud, I’m not. She doesn’t care what others would feel. Bet on that. She never cared about other’s opinion. Like, she’s gonna ask, “What do you want for dinner?” I’ll tell her “Pork!” with conviction. And she’s gonna lose her temper and tells me how stupid it is to have pork, pork, pork—-everyday pork, (Even if it’s really not happening.)Then she’ll choose for dinner. And I was like…”what the hell was that?? Don’t ever ask me again.” (On my mind.haha) ORRRR what do you think is better, red or blue? I’ll say blue—she takes the red one. Well, she is she.

 

One more thing I hate about her is her outrageous-insane-futuristic ideas. She never let me go out with my friends often. Well not so big deal, but you know it’s still a one deal. Hey, I was a teenager then. How kind. -_-. I never get to Baguio or Tagaytay or theme parks on our school trips. She’s scared. I’m touched actually. For 3 seconds. But damn I’m really deprived. Right?

 

Back to that stupid button. I can’t explain. But everything I feel like I hate her, that stupid button automatically turns on and BOOM! Bad feelings are gone. I love her again. No words. No questions. No answers. Just like that. I love her so much *insert nausea here then laugh*

 

She’s cold but absolutely lovable to children.  She’s the strongest woman I know but of fear when it comes to her daughter; the most iron-willed; the most straight-forward but knows how to bend herself back. She has the shortest temper person in the world, I believe on that. She has the craziest curly hair. She has this peculiar mole on her left cheek. (Thank god I didn’t get that from her.) She has this sweetest scent in the morning..